Friends, friends, friends!

Well here are the HUGS  moms. These are the ladies from the support group Dave and I went to maybe twice.  The support group itself was too hard for me but all the ladies would go to dinner once a month and I started tagging along.  The dinners were a little more casual, don't get me wrong we have all spent plenty a time crying for hours in a restaurant.  But for me to just say how I felt without being judged meant the world to me and saved me MANY times from having a breakdown.  These women are amazing strong people.  They have all been an inspiration to me.  The way that they all can continue on with life after such a tragic situation is truly something that I value in each and every one on them. It has been hard for me too find time to get out with the ladies lately but on Tuesday we finally made a night for the ladies to go out by themselves!


It was such a fun night! I love that I can completely be myself and say how I am feeling and no one looks at me like I am crazy. I wish everyone had friends like this. Really I do. What is even more amazing to me is that in some cases I had never really even "met" some of these people and they are great friends. Thanks to email and of course facebook. Like take Krista for instance, Laura and Mary had just raved about her and they kept saying I would love her and of course I do!!! She is a great person and when she ordered a bells I knew we would be great friends!!!! I had a great time with all of these wonderful ladies and I am so glad they are in my life!!

My favorite gift!

Isn't this great!!!  It is so cute.  We have some really good friends who got us this for our Lincoln "welcome" gift.  It is great.  I love seeing our names on it.  It is such a personal gift.  The Bolingers (the great people the gift came from) have been friends with us for four years now.  We met not long after we lost the twins.  We were attending a support group for the first time (where we also met some other amazing strong people but I will talk about that later) and we were standing in the hallway and across from us was another couple who happened to be Kim & Jason.  They looked as broken as we felt.  Their daughter Ryleigh passed away the day after Winton did.  Standing there looking at each other we knew we would be bonded for life ironically by death.  Kim & Jason have been amazing friends.  We have been through so much with them.  We even went on a "let off some steam" trip to Mexico.  Where I actually found out I was pregnant with Jaidyn.  Not long after that Kim became pregnant with Caden.  Isn't that cute Jaidyn & Caden!  You know we have already planned their wedding.

Kim then became pregnant with Carson and not much later I was pregnant with Lincoln- whom we really almost named something that ended in -son just for sake of keeping the tradition!

Now as we pass the 4th anniversary of loosing the twins I want to acknowledge something good that came from this.  A friendship that can never be replaced!  We love you guys!

4 Years

Well it was four years ago today that I went into labor with my twins Winton & Hannah.  Even though it has been 4 years it feels just like yesterday.  I remember the day very well.  I remember feeling like our world was falling apart and it was falling apart.  Most people would have been very excited to head to the hospital to deliver their babies but for us we knew that our babies would be born to early and would not survive.  First Hannah was born and than the next day our son Winton was born.  Hannah was born still and Winton only lived for minutes.  I have never felt this way, it was awful.  Dave and I were devastated.  We watched our dreams shatter right before us.   The pain was unbearable and even after all these years it still hurts just the same.  

This Christmas will be different though.  We have a beautiful 3 year old Jaidyn who is an absolute doll and our sweet baby boy Lincoln that is 2 months old.  Having them makes things easier.  Although it doesn't stop the pain it helps ease it.  Our beautiful babies are our world.  We love them more than anything.  Although we can not change what has happened to us we can continue forward and learn from everything.  We are shaped by our past.  Our twins have helped make us who we are today.  I will never forget Hannah and Winton they will live in our hearts forever.

Jaidyn Sings Frosty the Snowman!

Today the Rainney family had a snow day!  Dave stayed home from work, Jaidyn stayed home from school and well I guess Lincoln and I are always home!  We had a great day.  Dave and I worked, than the kids took a nap. After that Jaidyn and Dave went out to build a snowman but Dave couldn't build a snowman, he said the snow wouldn't pack.  Honestly I just think he doesn't know how to!!  So since They couldn't build one Jaidyn decided she would sing!  It is great, my favorite part is the "broomstick in his head"

Jaidyn's 3rd Birthday

The princess party was a success!!!  As you can see above Jaidyn and her best friend Abby were quite excited!

Jaidyn got lots of great presents and we enjoyed a wonderful day with our friends and family.

Jaidyn's actual birthday is tomorrow and so we told her she could go anywhere she wants for her birthday.  Her response "Santa's House!"

So tomorrow we will be doing that, I am very excited to see her reaction.  She said she is going to hold Lincoln because he will be afraid!

Thanksgiving 2008

I have so many things to be grateful for. First my wonderful husband, my beautiful daughter, and my amazing son.  I have such a great family and I am very luck to have all three of them.  Of course I very thankful for the rest of my family and all of my wonderful friends.  I am very lucky to have them all in my life.  This year we spent thanksgiving day at my sister Danielle's house and the day after at Dave's parents house.  We also spent sometime this weekend working on buying christmas gifts, it fun. I love getting family gifts.

I feel complete

 Last Saturday night we put up all the decorations inside the house.  Or as Jaidyn put it "we made christmas"  We put up the christmas tree and it was so fun.  It was great to see Jaidyn get so excited about putting everything up.  It is amazing what a difference a year makes. Last christmas I wasn't even pregnant and we didn't know if I could even get pregnant and now here I am sitting with my 6 week old.  What is even more amazing is the difference four years makes.  I never would have thought four years ago after we lost the twins that I would be this happy!  As I hung all of our stockings on the mantle I could not help but feel complete.  I feel so at ease and so happy that my life is the way that it is.  I have a great sense of peace as I look around and take in all of the wonderful things I have around me.

Kimmy's 40th Birthday

Who knew a 40th birthday party could be so fun.  Two weeks ago my parents, my sister Danielle, and I all threw my sister Kim a 40th birthday party.  It was so fun! There were so many people there, family & friends- some we had not seen in a while.  My sister was very embarrassed because we sang to her.  She doesn't even look 40- does she?



My parents were so worried about what they were getting themselves into when they saw the kegs!!  We had one of Michelob Light for the regular drinkers and of magic hat for those of us who like good beer.  As I am sure you figured- the magic hat was gone first.  It was a wonderful night of hanging out with friends and family!

Baby Lincoln Christopher Rainney

"Today is Baby Lincoln Christopher Rainney's birthday- we must have cake"- said Jaidyn today!

And is right today is Lincoln's birthday, I can not believe he is one month old already!  BUT we will not be having cake!

Today at Lincoln's doctor appointment he weighed 8 pounds 10 ounces and was 21.5 inches long.

He is doing very well.  He is starting to be more alert and awake a little more during the day, and the night, uggh!  Jaidyn is adjusting well also, she loves being a big sister and always wants you to refer to her as "sister"  It is so cute.  Over the last four weeks Lincoln has changed so much.  He has gained almost two pounds and he is starting to smile and make noises.  Jaidyn has changed a lot also.  She seemed like still a little baby and now that we have Lincoln she seems like such a big girl.  I can't believe it.  I am so blessed to have such beautiful children.

Jaidyn & Lincoln

Well I spent the week with just me & the kids!  Dave took our nephew Marcus to a hunters safety course so I was left alone.  This is my first adventure with Lincoln, Jaidyn & I.  It was great. Jaidyn is such a big helper.  She has been getting me diapers when I need them and gives Lincoln his pacifier when he looses it.  She also always want him to lay with her.  So she will lay on the couch and watch t.v. with Lincoln laying down next to her.  It is so funny whenever Lincoln is crying Jaidyn says "momma- what's happening?  Hurry he needs you"  It is so funny that she says that.  On friday she asked if we could have a baby sister also, I was laughing so hard and than I had to try to explain to her that we were not going to have anymore babies and she said "but maybe we might just end up with another baby in our tummy"  If it was only that easy!!!

Pumpkin Carving

Dave and Jaidyn spent five hours carving pumpkins, yes that is what I said- 5 hours!  They had so much fun. I couldn't believe that my little princess dug her hands right into the pumpkins and took all the "slimy" stuff out of the pumpkin.  So after five hours they only carved three pumpkins.

This was the first year we really carved any pumpkins and it was a good thing for Jaidyn and her daddy to do. 

After they were done carving we all made pumpkin seeds, they were so yummy!

Names in the Sand

WOW!!!  Look at this, it is amazing.

A couple who lives in Australia does this in memory of their son.  It is truly wonderful that someone who lives in a whole different part of the world would do something so beautiful.

Often I have thought I would love to do something for others who have felt the same pain that we have.  This is something so simple but something I will definitely cherish.  For the couple in Australia I am sure it is healing for them but for me it is too.  I never get to write Hannah or Winton's name nor do I get to see them written.

I can not thank these people enough for what they have done for me and for others in the world. Your thoughtfulness is truly appreciated.

Here is the link to the page:

http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2008/10/hannah-grace-and-winton-jacob.html

Lincoln Christopher

Welcome to the world my little boy!  WOW I can't believe my little pumpkin is already one week old.  Yep- after 22 hours of labor we have a little baby boy- Lincoln Christopher.  He is so cute, really he is. I know I am biased but man I just can't stop holding him. I love the little squeaks he makes, they are adorable.  Jaidyn is napping, Dave is working on announcements and I thought I might blog.  What an amazing time this is. You forget all so quickly what the "newborn" stage is like.  I can't help but be so grateful for all of our blessings- and they just keep on coming!  This picture is the first time I got to hold our sweet son.  A SON - can you believe it?  I know I can't.  Look at those eyes, he looks just like Jaidyn did when she was born.  I wonder if they will act the same also.  I love to think about these things, it is so exciting to not know what the next day has in store for us.  I just know we are so blessed to have the most beautiful kids in the world!

The First Blog

Well I have this wonderful friend, Laura who is the best blogger in the world and she has given me inspiration to start my own blog.

So here it is - the beginning.  

I am sitting in my living room and my wonderful husband is holding our one week old son Lincoln and our beautiful daughter is up in her bed sleeping soundly.

I can't help but wonder how I became so lucky- wonderful husband, 2 beautiful children.

Well- four children actually.

You see almost four years ago (4- can you believe it)

We gave birth to our twin children Hannah Grace and Winton Jacob.   Hannah was born still and Winton only lived for about two minutes.  December 22nd & 23rd of 2004 the most devestating days of our lives.  A year later- Jaidyn was born and she is amazing.  She helps take the pain away everyday. and now almost four years later Lincoln is born.  Even after having the most awful thing happen to us I can still feel grateful for everything that I have in my life including having two beautiful angels who look over us every day.